I think I'm back.
I left back in 2006 without much fanfare, without so much as a goodbye. I just disappeared.
I was the rat that jumped ship and now I'm returning because I see that where I leapt to was all glitz and glamour and while on the surface it seemed like a better place, it wasn't.
Blogging isn't for me. I want to online journal like I did back in 2000, when I had 3 small kids, one had just been diagnosed with cerebral palsy and I was an emotional basket case. Toss in all the other drama that goes with life, and well I guess the best way to sum it up is, I was a mess.

I'm still a mess, which is why I want to come back.
I tried to sign up for a new account, but because I'm broke right now, there is no money and you have to pay to get back in here. I sent an email explaining what's going on, but it looks like everything in here is pay before you get your account, pay to get defunct blogs back. I remember that Andrew had just brought in the gold member accounts, and so many people I knew here had purchased one to help support the site, and then not heard anything back from Andrew when they needed help. Part of that was a reason that I left. I myself had sent Andrew a few emails asking for info, and never heard back. I think at the time he'd just had a baby, so he was busy.
But I'd really like to start fresh, so I don't have to go back and edit all the names I'd changed to protect the kids identity and such. I don't mind editing older entries as I move them to a new place, but a fresh start is just what I need.
And Diaryland is the only place where online journaling seems to be happening. Writing, not for popularity, but for your self, whether it's just to keep track of things going on in your life, or for personal growth.
I miss that in the modern blogging age. There it's all about popularity, getting hits on your site, and commercialization with ads and earning money from ads and sponsors.
I'm not into all of that. I just want to write!

So, how have I been since my departure in 2006?
No job, emotional basket case, my eyesight has gone to shit, I have hypertension and I'm undergoing shockwave therapy for my uncountable number of kidney stones (doctors words, not mine).
My kids are grown up, but still with me.
The Hubby and I are working on some issues, but still going. That's something.
So, that about sums everything up.

9:43 a.m. - July 13, 2018