Oh my God! I had this beautiful, witty entry all typed up and do you know what I did? I hit the power button on my power bar with my toe!!!
With a beep and a flash my computer turned off and I was left sitting here staring at a black screen and wondering how the hell I could have done that?
Oh well, I shall attempt to recreate my wonderful little entry but I'm not making any promises.
Good Morning Universe, how nice to greet you this morning. I slept through the night last night. There were no kids waking me up because they'd decided that they didn't need to sleep anymore. There wasn't any Hubby snoring, whistling or wheezing waking me up. In fact I slept like a person that had taken some form of over the counter sleep aid, a whole herd of elephants could have invaded my bedroom and trampled me to death and I don't think I would have woken up, I don't think I would have even cracked an eyelid. Thank you Nytol.
So, have we all heard todays big breaking news story? Angelina is officially pregnant, it must be official because it was reported on CNN and everything you see there is the truth right? heh heh.
I have to say that I'm not shocked about this. I predicted way back when Gwyneth had her little fruit of her womb (get it fruit because her daughters name is Apple, heh heh).
I mean do we remember why Brad and Gwyneth parted ways, well one of the reasons that Brad and Gwyneth split anyways? Brad wanted kids and Gwyneth wasn't ready, she wanted to concentrate on her career.
So when I heard that the lovely Gwyneth had managed to bring a little one into the world I predicted that rough times were in store for little Mrs Pitt. I mean when the girl you left because she wasn't ready to have kids, has a kid, you know that some life examining had to be going on in the Pitt household.
So no, I wasn't shocked with Jennifer and Brad broke up. To me it was an obvious next step.
When Brad and Angelina began to date I knew it was only a matter of time before we would be seeing Miss Jolie sporting those oh so attractive stretchy maternity pants. According to Brad's Grandma, he really really wants kids. We can see how much Angelina likes kids, so are we surprised that these two would be making one together? Not me.
So the kids are all gone to school now. The house would be all mine except that Hubby isn't going in at the normal time today. He's not going to be out on the road at all. He's working in the yard with the boss.
So right now he's upstairs waiting for the boss to call and let him know it's time to meet up. I hope he calls soon. I can't stand having the Hubby home when I'm working. He gets all judgemental and sometimes he evaluates my work effort. Not that I pay attention to him, he's just trying to play big man on campus and I don't really give a damn about any of it. It's just a pain in the neck, that's all.
I have to say that if I was a different person the way that Hubby acts would be deemed abusive. But it isn't, at least not towards me it isn't. Because I get where he's coming from.
A woman that doesn't have my personality would probably be stomped under his thumb but when you compare Hubby's attitude towards me with my parents, Hubby's a cake walk. That's why when he screams at me and gets all high and mighty towards me I just laugh at him and call him a loser and it's done with.
I was reading a diary the other day and the girl was saying how she was thinking of leaving her husband because he got into her face and screamed at her and she thought it was abusive and I thought to myself, holy crap. That's everyday life in my house.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't live in a place where every single minute is filled with screaming and hostility.
Just last night I had a nice cuddle with my Hubby.
He was sitting on the couch watching TV and I flopped onto his lap. I picked up his arm and rested my cheek against it. He wrapped his arms around me and we just sat there together. I began to rub the top of his head and then I moved on.
I admit the reason that I moved on is because I gave him a playful little nip on the back of his neck and didn't want to give him a chance for revenge. But it was nice until I began the torture that I love to put him through.
I love to bite my husband. And I'm not saying this in a nasty, chomping down until you draw blood way, and it's not in a kinky kind of sex way either. It's mostly playful little nips and what not. Mostly I do it because it annoys the hell out of him, which makes me laugh. So it's all in fun.
I also love to pinch him. I love to see him jump around and make this funny little gulping sounds. It's quite funny. So again it makes me laugh, which makes him laugh. So it's all in fun.
Now on for the offensive part of this entry...
My family thinks fart jokes are funny. There is a lot of 'pull my finger' type of attitude in the house when it comes to ass gas (as it's so charmingly called, burps are gut gas).
Last night Dot was sitting on the couch when she suddenly got this sly little grin and she got up and stood right in front of her father. She was standing there watching him for a few seconds before she let rip with what can only be described as a mini explosion in her pants. And judging from the reaction from her Dad and brother I can only imagine how foul it must have been. I've never been so thankful for a head cold in my life.
Dot let rip and then flew out of the room as fast as her little legs could carry her. All the way she was laughing hysterically and calling out in a sing song voice "Whoops, I did that. Excuse me!" That's Mommy's little Princess.
Even LB is getting into the hilarity. The kids call his little toots 'motorboats' because it sounds like the puttering of a boat engine. At least that's what I'm told by the kids anyway. LB will putter away and then give a little smile, a self satisfied grin that sort of says 'take that'. He's always looking right at me when he does it.
But even worse than LB's little toots are his burps, because he's still getting burped like you would a small infant. So I'll feed him, give him his drink and then heft him up onto my chest. I'll pat his back for a bit and nothing. He doens't let a burp go, no. He waits. And he waits and he waits. And then, just as I look into his face, just when my face is only an inch or two from his own face that's when the little monkey burps. Right in my Face!
And that sweet little fellow has some of the most heinous burps I've ever gotten a whiff of in my life. A lot of the time it smells like sour milk, mmm yum.
While I'm here writing about bodily functions I thought I'd add in that my son, my sweet adoring little EB has been spending far too much time in the bathroom lately. Everytime I turn around he's in the can. He says he's going up for a shower, but he's up there, locked in the bathroom for at least 10 - 15 minutes before he even turns the shower on.
I do not want to know what he's doing up there. Hubby delights in telling me, but I don't want to know.
It takes me back to the time when he was 3. I got up in the morning and shuffled my barely awake bottom into the front room only to discover my sweet little baby laying on the sofa, he was buck naked and he was slapping his little fellow.
I asked him what the heck he was doing. I think I actually shouted it because I was shocked at what I was seeing. I hadn't been prepared for that sight.
EB's response... "Look Mommy, it gets stiff!"
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Well that's all for now. It's all that I got. I'll probably be back later when something else inspires me but until then have a good day folks.
8:55 p.m. - January 11, 2006
Recent entries:
March Break Almost Done - March 16, 2006
Annoying and Irritating - March 15, 2006
Hello Mold, How Have You Been? - March 14, 2006
DNA Personality Test - March 10, 2006
Sickness Continues - March 09, 2006
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