I had this whole huge entry writte and my stupid web browser crashed and I lost it all.
Normally I wouldn't have been typing an entry up in my web browser but using a program like word or something first and then transferring it over to the web browser and diaryland's add an entry form when it was all done.
But since I inherited the Hubby's old computer I haven't had any programs like that on my system because no matter how much I bitch and ask the Hubby to do it he doesn't.
And I would do it myself only I don't know where the programs are, and the Hubby has millions of stupid disks so I'm not going to hunt through them all to do it and when I ask him where they are so I can do it myself he gets all indignant and tells me that he'll get right to it and to stop nagging him.
He is a overly sensitive little twit sometimes. I say things that are totally innocent and he takes them as criticisms, and even when I tell him I wasn't saying anything bad about him he gets all pissed off, mostly because he feels guilty about not doing the stuff for me I guess.
So anyway, I'd written this whole entry about how I'm mostly feeling down in the dumps from lack of sleep and how I feel guilty about not working and crap like that.
I also told about how I'd love to bring in some extra change through my creativity. I love to make things and I would love to bring in a couple of bucks through my craftiness.
I have all these plans inside my little brain, plans to make decorative light switch plates, decorative lights and stuff like that. I'd love to try to sell some of the stuff that I make.
I think that's one of the things that's bothering me right now as well, I want to be productive and I have this immense feeling that I'm not productive at all. I produce nothing, I do nother except housework really.
And lets face it, the problem with housework is that no matter what you do or what you make or cook, within a 24 hour period it will all be destroyed, eaten or strewn across the house.
People can go on about how love, liberty and truth are the only eternal forces in life, but really the only thing that is really eternal is the dishes.
We've all heard about the torture of Sisyphus. How poor Sisyphus was condemed by the gods to eternally push a large heavy boulder to the top of a mountain, only to have the weight of that rock make it roll back to the bottom again, where he would have to begin to push it right back once more.
Well I think that that aren't that many jobs out there in this world today that compare to Sisyphus' endless torture like housework. We clean, we cook, we try to make our homes the best that we can, only to have all our efforts laid to waste by those that claim to love us so much.
It's very frustrating, and so I have no sense of accomplisment. I don't feel like I'm really doing anything with my life. So I sit and wait for the day when I can begin to make my creations and hope that others will like them as much as I enjoy making them.
plus lets not forget that this damn weather has me down as well. I mean how many days filled with dark, dreary skies and rain soaked afternoons can one person take before they crack?
8:43 p.m. - January 10, 2006
Recent entries:
March Break Almost Done - March 16, 2006
Annoying and Irritating - March 15, 2006
Hello Mold, How Have You Been? - March 14, 2006
DNA Personality Test - March 10, 2006
Sickness Continues - March 09, 2006
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